Ragnar Relay 2010

The Wasatch Back Relay is one of my favorite races of the year. This year however it was a little different. Usually I am excited to see how fast I can run each of my legs, I enjoy eating junk food and partying with my team, and I feel like I am invincible. As for this year.... it was all I could do to even run my legs, I had to be careful of what I ate so I wouldn't get any more sick than I already was, and I felt like, well, let's just say I didn't feel invincible. 

With all that aside what an incredible experience! It was one of the hardest things physically I have ever done. The team I was on was amazing. I was  in van one with one of Melanie's sisters, three brothers-in-law, and a friend. There is no way I could have done it without their support. One of my brothers-in-law even shaved his head in support of my craziness.

My first leg was pretty difficult. I didn't know how to manage how I would feel as I ran, or the proper pace to take so I didn't completely burn myself out at the start. Luckily we were about an hour ahead so I could take my time. My cute family was waiting for me at a church just before exchange 7. It was nice to stop and take a little breather and visit for a few minutes with them.

The hardest part was finding some way to rest. Chemo gives you an exhaustion that even sleep doesn't help. So every chance I had to lay down and rest, I took it. Nothing really helped, and no food really sounded very good.

My second leg was awesome. Extremely hard but it was a night run which are my favorites. It was a taxing 8 mile run from Morgan up East Canyon. It was all I could do to keep my legs moving. The encouragement and cheers I would receive from other teams and other runners was surprising but helped keep me going. Each time I felt like I couldn't go another step someone would pass by me and give some words of encouragement, or one of my team members would be there with a drink for me. It is funny how the timing was always perfect. Towards the end of the climb all I could think about was a meatball sub from subway they had waiting for me in the car.

My last leg through Heber City was pretty much just going through the motions. I had to walk most of it due to exhaustion, but the support from my team and other teams was overwhelming. After the race we had a little party in one of the suites at the Sun Dial Resort compliments of the American Cancer Society. They even had a nice medal for finishing the race.

I feel blessed to have even been able to run this year but even more blessed to have been on such a great team. Below is an article that the Deseret News printed.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700043762/Runner-is-providing-inspiration.html

Getting through this...

Today I'm trying to think of happy thoughts to get me through my day. It has been a rough couple days. The end of the round 2 of chemotherapy has not been kind to Brian. I can not express how difficult it is to see my vibrant, active husband so sick and tired in bed that he can literally barely get up. I wish I could solve it and make everything all better... for that matter ANYTHING better! 

It has been an interesting experience for us to have the sacrament arrive at our doorstep every Sunday morning. It offers a different light on it when you have young men blessing it in your bedroom with birds chirping out the window. It has also shed a different perspective on what our Savior has gone through. As Brian said this morning, while talking about the amount of suffering that Christ went through for just him, it is hard to comprehend the suffering he went through for everyone, (Brian said, "Poor Guy!").
I was sent a link for this lds youtube video awhile ago, but hadn't had a chance to open it. It is worth your 8 minutes-just grab a tissue before it starts! It also gave me a good perspective to keep in mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E

I am on the hunt for uplifting quotes to keep around the house. Short ones that will help me get through another day when things are hard. (Please don't send me: "This too shall pass!") Any happy, spiritual, funny, uplifting about kids, life in general. I would appreciate any you would like to share!

THANK YOU SO MUCH... to dinners that arrive on our doorstep, anonymous donations in our account recently, family and friends so willing to help out with anything! Once again, you will never understand what large and small acts of service/ help do for us right now. You WILL be blessed for your efforts!

Cycle 2 day 2

       Here it is the end of day two. I have forgotten how miserable this whole process is. I felt pretty good last week.  I was able to get in a few runs, actually do my own yard, and eat almost anything I wanted.  But nowI sit here on the verge of vomiting, headache, and it feels like I have battery acid running through my veins.      

       My chest and lungs are burning  and it hurts to breathe, and I feel like I just finished a 200 mile race. Not the most pleasant combination of feelings I must admit. However things could always be worse at least I  am vertical for the moment. I did however change the brakes on Melanie's van today. (they really needed it)

         It still feels like a dream. I keep waiting to wake up and have all my hair, feel well, and be able to walk up our 15 stairs to go watch the kids play in the loft without getting winded. This whole experience has given me appreciation for the small things in life. To be able to eat a meal instead of staring at it hoping I can keep it down. (having a meal even sound good or even wanting to eat is a good start)  Sleeping through the night, being able to go for a walk with my sweetheart, drinking a glass of water with out pain, being able to enjoy playing with my children. Being able to lay flat on my back without 2-3 pillows.

           I definitely couldn't go through this with out the help of my dear wife. Melanie sterilizes the house each night before we go to bed. (no small task)  She is constantly asking me what sounds good to eat. She is willing to do anything for me at the drop of a hat and never complains. She wakes up every time I roll over in bed and asks me if I am ok and what she can do. She sits for five hours a day in the chemo suite just to be with me while I am getting treatments. She watches me as I am on the verge of tears from the nausea and pain and tells me she wishes she could do more for me. I am a very blessed husband.

         It is a good feeling to know that I am almost half way through my treatments. If I can just make it to the end of next week, I should start feeling better. We have been so blessed through this whole process a BIG THANK YOU to all our friends and family who have sacrificed so much to ease our burdens. You are in our prayers and may the Lord bless you for all you have done for us.